


覆水难收/What’s done is dead(CN+EN)

by K2Cr2O7Wataru



Category: Foo Fighters
Genre: M/M, Slash, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23671267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K2Cr2O7Wataru/pseuds/K2Cr2O7Wataru
Summary: “我学习了一些关于浪漫和逻辑的课程。”“I’ve got my lesson to learn how to dissociate emotion from reason.”
Relationships: Taylor Hawkins/Dave Grohl
Kudos: 2





	覆水难收/What’s done is dead(CN+EN)

Taylor Hawkins一直都想要抓住些什么。

每一次他踩下击锤，每一次他敲响吊镲，他都在试着抓住些什么。他练习着调整自己的呼吸，克制住潜意识中的恐惧，努力向那个东西伸出手去。他会骑着山地自行车冲上洛杉矶郊区坎坷的山丘，有时也会自甘被海浪甩进澄澈的浅海之中，在水面之下，他忍住眼球上酸涩的紧绷感，望向头顶那片青蓝色上浮动的光斑。在这之后再一次爬上冲浪板，开始下一场与自己身体的博弈。回到家，就以虐待自己和套鼓的方式制造海啸般的噪音。

但这些事情都无济于事。他得不到。

能做的只有等待，如同流浪汉等待每个月发放的补助金；瘾君子等待当铺老板清点纸币；或是死刑犯等待药物顺着管子流进自己的身体里。等待一个皆大欢喜的解脱结局，除了自己以外，没有任何人受到伤害。

但是在早上六点朦胧的梦里，Taylor还是会感觉到他带着平稳的呼吸靠近自己，吻着自己脸边的头发，轻声安慰着“不要害怕”。

***

Taylor Hawkins has always wanted to catch something.

Every time he stepped on the drum pedal, every time he sounded the crash, he was trying to catch something. He practiced adjusting his breathing, controlling his subconscious fears, and trying to reach out for what he wants. He would ride a mountain bike to dash towards the rough hills of suburban Los Angeles, and sometimes he would be willing to be thrown into the clear shallow sea by the ocean waves. Under the water, he resists the stiff ache on his eyes and looks at the flickering floating spot on the cyan upon his head. After that, he climbs up the surfboard again and starts the next tough game with his own body. When he get home, he will make some noise like a tsunami roaring by abusing himself and his drum set.

But none of these things helped. He just couldn’t make it right.

All he can do is to wait, like a tramp waiting for a monthly grant, a junkie waiting for the pawnbroker to count the bills, or a prisoner waiting for the deadly poison. Waiting for a happy ending, no one will be suffer except himself.

But in the hazy dream of six o'clock in the morning, Taylor would still feel that man comes close to him with a steady breath, kissing his hair on the side of his face, and comforting him "don't be panic" softly.


End file.
